Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Rooku McDooku strikes back!

Hello, chaps. I've gotten fed up with Qui-Gon and JawaJuice muscling the Sith Scout Cookies out of the market with their brownies. If I want to get to the kids and *really* turn them to the dark side, I need to take them in with spiffingly unhealthy food. Mass-produced, and ready at any time. So, when I get back from this horrid planet (I think I'm likely to be voted off soon), I'm going to start a fast food restaurant! Splendid idea, what?

This is my plan for the menu of McDooku's. Tell me what you think, eh chaps?

McEvil Meal (with extra evil)
Sabre Shake (the only milkshake with lightsabre crystals for that extra ZING!)
Bantha Burgers (freshly killed and stored in a warehouse for six months)
Force-Choke-a-Cola (warning: may cause respiratory damage)
"Chicken" Nuggets (hey, where'd that Toydarian go?)
Crispy Geonosian Wings

Is it missing anything?


Blogger Captain Typho said...

Do fries come with that shake?

11:34 PM  
Blogger General Grievous said...

I'll lend you my droids to deliver the food... wait I'll lend you my fleet of ships and all their droids to deliver your food *cough*

12:42 AM  
Blogger flu said...

AAaaaarrrrrd...vark, Dooku!

So, you've felt the pinch of free enterprise crunching into your Sith Scout cookies, heh, DookU! My pocketbook is lean, as well!

...and now, with profits down, Dooku, and costs up, Dooku, and unionized labor prioritizing their silly collective bargaining agreement meetings before actual work, DOOKU, you feel forced to diversify your product offerings just to keep up! Don'tcha? I have sensed it!

...but there's one thing you lack! Mr. McDookuMan! One thing that could give you a foothold in the fast-paced world of fast food DOOkU!...and you've overlooked it! Why, you inquire? Because! The dark side clouds your tea, Dooku! That's why! The dark side burns your biscuits! Your fry grease, it needs a-changin!

...and just what is that ONE thing, you ask?

McDooku Brew.

Make it available in gallon jugs, would you?


7:19 AM  
Blogger Leia said...

It comes in pints?

11:15 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

How about unhappy meals for the kids? (Comes with a broken toy)

Don't forget to "Sith-Size everything.

....hey...why am I helping you?

3:28 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

McDooku Brew for the younglings? Hmm...

I hope you'll consider something for the more health-conscious customers. Perhaps a salad?

And will you have the Oreo Force Flurry for dessert? They ROCK!

4:15 PM  
Blogger jedisiri said...

wow chock-a-cola!

12:47 AM  
Blogger owenlars said...


8:17 AM  
Blogger Yarael Poof said...

Dey all great ideas, mon, but jah not gonna get far wi'out rum.

12:48 AM  
Blogger Count Dooku said...

These are all good ideas I shall take into consideration...
But no rum, I'm afraid.

12:48 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

If you do this right, you'll really catch ligthning in a bottle. Force lighnting, that is.

5:28 AM  
Blogger Aayla Secura said...

The Force-Choke-a-Cola sounds promising.

3:31 PM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Gungan-O-Filet sandwiches.

Chocolate Chip Wookiees

French Flies

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you forgot a Sith shake.

6:03 PM  

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