In the service of evil
I'm back on the Invisible Hand, helping the good General Grevious track down the Jedi leading this annoying 'clone army'. On the orders of Lord Sidious, I can't tell you exactly where we are...but think 'big and hairy'.
I've said too much.
It seems Sith Lords Anonymous leader Master Windu is off on a mission as well. Well, maybe we'll run into him at some point.
Wait - bad idea, the General might do something crazy, like try and kill him.
I have caught up with him in a few quick holo-chats, he's put me on The Slow and Difficult Path to becoming a Friendly Sith Lord
And it is indeed slow and difficult: the '10 commandmants' in the front alone are difficult to abide by. 10 commandmants, bah! There's 12 of them!
- Thou must seek the forgiveness of everyone whose hand thou hast chopped off.
- Thou must serve tea to all those thou comest across.
- Thou must tunest thy lightsaber to be a friendly colour. Pink is suggested.
- Thou shalt not betray the Jedi Order and fight a battle to the death with thine old master.
- Thou shalt not shoot lightning from thine hands. Except on Wednesdays.
- Thou shalt not dismember thine defeated enemies.
- Thou shalt instead offer them a drink.
- Thou shalt not comb over thine hair to conceal a bald patch.
- Thou shalt instead polish thine bald patches.
- Thou shalt not pull pranks on small, green Jedi Masters.
- Thou shalt not insult a Wookie.
- Thou shalt insult ewoks, since they are wimpy enough for you to get away with it.
Well, there you go, chaps. Tough, eh?