Monday, June 13, 2005

By a boiling cauldron...

Hello, chaps.
I've been asked several times now about what exactly it is that I put in my tea, that annoys people so. So, here it is, the recipe for Dooku's Brew:

Hot water (or cold, if that's how you like it)
Earl Grey tea bag
Earpiercing of teenager
Eye of newt
Spleen of shrew
Toenail of solicitor
A pinch of salt for flavour
A spoonful of chilli sauce (add one per kettleful)
A lightsaber crystal (preferably natrual, but synthetic will do)

Combine the water, tea bag, piercing, eye, spleen and toenail in a saucepan, stir while heating gently.

When boiling, reduce the heat, then stir in the chilli sauce. Be generous - you can never have enough chilli!

Add the lightsaber crystal, and stir until completey dissolved. This may take some time...

Then, when all the lumpy bits are gone, throw in the salt.

Stir again, then serve.

Well, there you go. Tasty, eh what? What Master Yoda finds wrong with it, I cannot tell.



Blogger Obi Wan Kenobi said...

Have you tried the new twinings range? the Camomile blends are terrific

4:32 AM  
Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Hey Old Master,
I think that you have been using the wrong leaves.
And wow, like, Chili powder and lightsabre crystals? Sounds like what I used to brew up when I was with that Fraternity. Go Alpha Psi Phi!
*eats a brownie* Mmmm...

11:18 AM  
Blogger BookWorm said...

Twinings is the best. I usually stick to the breakfast teas, myself

4:45 PM  
Anonymous Queen of the Monkeys said...

I just have to ask exactly do you get the toenail of a solicitor? Do you just whip out the lightsaber and chop off a whole toe? And does it make a difference which toenail?

7:17 PM  
Blogger Count Dooku said...

queen of the monkeys, I generally just 'persuade' a solicitor to come to lunch with me. He or she then wakes up an hour later, missing a toe. Or half a toe, if I'm feeling generous.

Which toe is a matter of preference...I'm partial to the left big toe myself.


9:34 PM  
Anonymous Queen of the Monkeys said...

Hmm...gonna have to try this.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Guinastasia said...

Who gave you this recipe-Severus Snape?

6:54 PM  
Blogger Count Dooku said...

Are you insinuating I did not invent this beverage! I'm insulted! It is 100% my own creation!

Who's Severus Snape?

11:18 PM  
Blogger Guinastasia said...

Potions professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

8:36 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

I finaly got around to trying your tea and you're right. you can never have enough chilli...or spleen of shrew. What do you know. Not only are you one of the most vile dark lords in the galaxy, but you have good taste too.

7:01 AM  

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